Poetry…beauty in words

“Poetry is the rhythmical creation of beauty in words” ~ Edgar Allan Poe

I agree with Edgar, because, what is more beautiful than to find words for our emotions, feelings? People have found different ways of expressing them,  but poetry remains one of the favorites.

And I love the way poetry expresses love. What other better way to do it? 🙂

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“She buried her ears into the calm of his heartbeat,

And in a matter of seconds, fell terribly in love with the way her loneliness fell softly

and suddenly, asleep,

in his chest.”

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“I loved her, not for the way she danced with my angels,

But for the way the sound of her name, could silence my demons…”

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“Not only did I love her,

But I could tell the universe loved her too.

More than others.

She was different.

After all, I would be a fool not to notice the way the sunshine played with her hair.”

~ Christopher Poindexter

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“I love you,

Regardless when, and how and why,

I love you,

Even if, maybe if, and because,

I love you,

Exactly, especially, in a way,

I love you,

Because and anyhow,

I love you,

Where, when, as if,

I love you,

Who, what, because,

I love you,

Which, who, you,

I love you.”

~ Marius Tuca

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Better together

With our wedding day coming soon, I find myself filled with excitement.

…Just the thought that I will spend the rest of my life next to this amazing man, makes me feel soooooooooooo HAPPY. I sometimes wonder if this life will be enough for  us… I think I want a few more lives together… or maybe a hundred more ?!? 😀

Love, people 🙂

Let your days be filled with sunshine and enjoy every moment.

 

I love you… just once a year???

Well, well, is that day of the year already…when couples celebrate love and each other… But shouldn’t we be doing that every day?

I have nothing against this holiday ( it is beautiful to celebrate love), but why do we need a “special” day to say “I love you”, or to make the other one feel special?

Isn’t that what love is all about? To cherish and make your partner feel your love? To make him/her feel unique? ALL THE TIME?

A kiss, a hug, a ” You look beautiful today” are just a few things through which you can show your appreciation and feelings… so remember to do that EVERY DAY, not once a year 🙂

So how about we celebrate Happy Valentine’s Day EVERYDAY ?

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My writing therapy…

We all have lost someone dear to us and we all have dealt with THAT sadness….

And it’s hard… it is soo hard sometimes you don’t know how to let all that sadness out….

First time I lost someone very dear to me was almost 9 years ago… My grandma was such a huge example and inspiration to me… she was the one I would run to, for anything…

She was such an amazing person… she taught me to believe in God… to pray… to sing…. she taught me that it is ok to cry when I felt like crying.

She was the one hearing all about my first crush…. she was always telling me all this fantasy stories since she was a little child (it was hard for me to imagine that my grandma was once a child)… she was an elegant woman, full of beauty… inside and out.

She was a woman of God and she taught me what are the real and true values… she taught me to have respect for myself, and that no matter what anyone else said, I count as a person and I matter. I am important and I have a purpose in my life.

The day she died, it was my father’s birthday… a happy and a sad day….

I remember a week before her death we were talking about this matter, and once she mentioned it, it was impossible for me to realize that one day she will be gone….

….and when it happened, it hit me… she was dying in front of me and it was still hard to believe…

And you know what she was doing in her last moments? She was praying…

It’s been almost 9 years and I still miss her everyday. I still wish she was here to see what kind of person I have became thanks to her, and to her “investment ” in me….

My dad was my rock… when I was a child, he was my prince and I wished that I would never grow up, so that I could stay my dad’s little girl… he always called me “my little soul”… from the day I was born, and to the day he died…. it happened 6 months ago, on my grandma’s birthday (the irony), and is still hard to accept it.

He died several days before letting him know that I’m getting married… and the fact that he won’t be there on my wedding day it breaks my heart.

We all deal with loss… and it’s hard… it is so hard sometimes, that we don’t know what to do with all that suffering.

What it helps us are the loving people we have around us… they are our rock in those hard moments….

And the truth is that we never forget… we just move on, but they are always in ours souls and minds… and the memories we have with them, keep them alive for us….

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One of those days …

Well, nobody said life is a walk in the park ,therefore we get to live this kind of days which I call “crappy days” meaning that I should probably stay in the house all day, unless I have a death wish.

Today I had my last exam (I am too exhausted to be happy) , so as a good student  which would be preparing in advance, I read for it about 10 hours and that was it (  Definitely not graduating “Summa Cum Laude “) , I went to take my exam.

I was feeling very tired and sleepy and not in the mood for an exam but since it was the last one, I said  “Let’s do this”.

So I got up early, but I was soo sleepy I almost went to the hospital to take my exam in pajamas ( I could have fit in just perfectly :D) …changed into something more adequate and I was ready, excepting the fact that I was shaking like a patient with Parkinson (not trying to mock the people who actually suffer from it… I know how horrible can be)….so I say, let’s take some chocolate, maybe my glucose is low (As a friend said…chocolate is the answer, no matter the question)….

On my way to the hospital , I had a weird argument with my Fiance, then a dog almost bitten me, and least but not last, a car wanted to have full contact  with me (since previous “happenings” I learnt my lesson in not saying “What else?” )

I get into the lecture theater and voila, no more seats except the front row.

I get down, “congratulating” my friends ( in my mind with a lot of words I didn’t know I know ) for being so kind letting me “shake” hands with the Dr. and try to read my papers once again, until I realize it’s useless and start accepting the fact that I might fail this one.

Apparently the odds were not against me, as I did OK (trying to be modest here), so after getting home , I say what’s a better way to celebrate my freedom ? …take a nap…. which lasted for almost 5 hours :O

To be very honest, I didn’t have a day like this in ages…but even this is a lesson… DON’T BE AFRAID NOR PANIC… remember that when you’re hiding from day’s like this, movies , ice-cream and chips are to be in stock.

P.S. Now I get the whole hibernation idea. Bears are lucky 😀

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Creating art , creating feeling….

I am a big fan of art, as I, myself draw (or at least I try to, and God knows if I succeed 😀 ), but I have always found a comfort in it and it allows me to put down my feelings on a piece of paper… it’s a different kind of therapy… a therapy to ease the stress and keep the calm of the mind and soul… it’s freedom.

And it doesn’t matter what kind of art is…we all have different ways of expressing ourselves. It matters what it represents.

Some people choose music, others dance. But my favorite kind of art is pure and simple…black and white…or colored sometimes…. But I’ll let you see it for yourself 😉

Enjoy 🙂

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My stay in South Korea

South Korea sounds beautiful and interesting in the same time…that’s because it actually is 🙂

I went there in 2009 with a scholarship together with a friend and another girl who shall not be named ( a stalker more likely, but let’s not get into that 😀 ) …So, we left Cluj Napoca for Budapest where we had our flight, and the final stop was Incheon, South Korea.

The flight was beautiful…in Europe I mostly traveled by car, so it was the first time I was over the clouds and I was in awe of how amazing is the world we’re living in. We have soo much to be thankful for, yet we rarely are.

First thing we got there, we took a 20 hours sleep…the time difference really had us, so we were very happy to rest.

Then, we started exploring.

Number one on my list was the food. And let me tell you something: korean food is absolutely delicious. It was love at first taste 😀 …even though first time I tried it, it was like someone has just lit a fire in my stomach… and it was felt in other parts too ( human body people 😀 )

Then  started attending the classes…. of course, everywhere my friend and I went, we were like stars, because of our different looks : university, on the street… people would sometimes stop and stare or wanna take a photo with us… the differences between cultures were very big… it was weird at  first, but slowly we got used to it.

Then, one day I had an interesting “experience” (weird for me, usual for korean students) when my professor asked me to go and have a drink… inside, I was kinda shocked, because I had never heard before about this thing anywhere unless something was mushy, so I politely refused and later on, a  friend lectured me on what should I know about koreans…. apparently I needed to learn a lot.

Another thing was when people were trying to guess where was I from. My accent made me either american or canadian, but my looks were very russian, or french, or british, or italian… well, let’s just say that I got very international all of a sudden. And a funny story , is that I was together with two of my friends (all romanians) and a guy came asking us where were we from, so one of my friends politely answered that from Romania. So his next question was… So, how is Armenia? And he never got it where we were actually from ( so many countries in the world 🙂 )

Apparently Romania is associated with Dracula, and vampires. So one guy from one of my classes asked me if there were really vampires… I calmly replied that yes, and in fact, my ancestor was a vampire… next thing I know, he started avoiding me, and he never spoke to me again ( so watch out… I bite 😀 )

What it hit me though, was the influence the media has over the young people… the stars promoted on TV are really praised, and adored and every little girl or boy would want to be just like X or Y. Another day, another band, another korean drama, another reality show… even I participated in a cooking show, and the funny thing is that we had a translator there, and while the presenter was taking me an interview, he asked me if I’d like to participate again, and the translator failed (lamentably) to tell me exactly what the presenter said, so I firmly answered that NO… and that was LIVE people… so I guess, in that moments I lost a few fans (maybe even more…. at least I didn’t have eggs thrown at me for not loving the country).

I also got to travel from Seoul, all the way to the south and back , and I discovered beauty without compare, and wonderful people (with exceptions definitely ), who loved to see a foreigner speaking korean, but the culture is too different to be understood sometimes. I mean, without judging, who would do a plastic surgery to their 8 year old?

So after almost 2 years spent in Seoul, South Korea, I can say that I am definitely lucky to have been there, because as a result, I have some really wonderful friends there, and I would love to go back and visit.

I will not go into further details on how my friend and I delayed a plane 20 minutes, and when we actually got on board, while making our way to our seats, we were in such a hurry that we forgot we were carrying our laptops, so we caused a few bruised here and there, or that when my 2 years were up, I came home, alone and my plane crashed on a runway in Moscow (it was soo scary because people were screaming, the plane was on fire, and I was just sitting in my seat, calm as I never were before)……

….. The awesome thing about traveling is that when you go in  a new city, a new country, you get to be who you want to be (it’s always better to be yourself though 🙂 ) and opportunities rise everywhere.

You get to experience all the new around you.

So, South Korea, I hope we’ll meet again some day 🙂

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It’s OK :)

Today I wanted to write about a more serious matter, and you might think “Why so serious?”

Because people struggle with lots of things, and I wanted to say that is OK…you are not the only one going through this 🙂

How come we are afraid of talking how we feel?

Why is it seen as a weakness?

Not being able to tell how you actually feel, is a problem. We should be able to express ourselves out loud without being mocked or looked at, as if we’re crazy.

And of course, people are considered crazy when they are in a bad place.

And the main question is WHY?

We all feel disappointed, right? Maybe because sometimes our hopes are too high… for example, I wanted a car for Christmas, but instead I got a book, or I really wanted to get the job at my favorite company, but instead I got a not-so-good job.

We hope, and hope, and hope some more until the hope is gone, and that’s when the disappointment comes in.

In this case , it is very important to analyze the situations we face or plans that we make, keeping in mind that it might not have the outcome we desire, but still be positive about it, because in this way,  another opportunity will appear .

How about confusion?

It is soo hard to solve a problem, or even take a decision when you’re confused, right? Because you might want to do a thing, but you’re not sure if it’s the right thing, or if you’ll get the desired results….

Sadness... we’ve all been sad at least once a week, because something didn’t go according to our plans, and ta-da, we fall into that weird state where is easier to pity ourselves, or we are just too tired to be hopeful in that moment.

And there are soo many other negative feelings: depression (this one is even dangerous), or stress which can transform into something big….

It is hard to battle all this feelings, when you’re alone, or afraid to speak up, because of other people’s opinion. But it shouldn’t be like that. That’s why we have family, and friends and mentors….to talk to them, to seek help when needed and be of help when we can.

We’ll never manage to find a “safe” way of doing things, because playing it too safe, means not knowing what it might have been,  and we keep thinking “What if…..?”

We shouldn’t live with uncertainty, but try, and try, and try, until we succeed, and even if we don’t, at least we’ll learn a very precious lesson.

So, why not try a different perspective?

Why not look from a different angle?

Why not turn around and see what’s everywhere? 🙂

Remember, we’re all feeling it.

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